Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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