were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
