No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
