I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
