How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
