I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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