her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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