it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
