Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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