U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize