The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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