I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
