That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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