I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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