Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
