there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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