i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
