Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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