if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
