Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
