What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
