i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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