walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
