I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
