At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
