HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
