I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
