I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
