We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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