I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize