I just pynch a tree in the face
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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