Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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