Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
