dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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