I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
