somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
