her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
