I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish you could order shots online.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
