I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize