when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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