I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your tits are I can't wait for
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He did a backflip because drugs
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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