Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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