i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
