i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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