Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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