How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
