I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
