i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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