reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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