I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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