whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
