Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
