he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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