Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
