We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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