508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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