We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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