I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
