He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
