So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Alive.
So much puke
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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