Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
