That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
