just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
