My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
