kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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