Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I bet he comes in French.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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