Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
