I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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