Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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