i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
